Address at the Wedding of Liz Beaman & Philip Dizard
The Heinz Chapel, Pittsburgh
Saturday, April 24, 2010 @ 6:30pm
Liz, Philip, and all here today: first let me tell you why I am thoroughly delighted to have been asked to officiate at your wedding ceremony – aside from the fact that I am always inspired when two people are willing to give themselves to each other, and aside from the fact that Darby and Chris were cherished parishioners of mine when I was a parish priest and remain cherished eccentric and always delightfully bizarre friends. Birds of a father tend to flock together. I look forward to adding Liz’s family and friends to the stew.
I revel in diversity. I deeply hold that disrespect for diversity and the attendant unwillingness to learn new truths from the reality of diversity is one of the primary causes of discord and of social fragmentation. There is a wonderfully human stew-pot of diversity here today. I just wish that America could learn to rejoice in it and honour it. We would be a much more nurturing, affirming human community. And, I think, a more, generous, kind nation. My hope – no, more, my challenge - is that this weekend and Philip and Liz’s marriage will be an opportunity to find pleasure in each other’s diversity, and deepen the wonder of being human.
We all know that the so-called “institution of marriage” is fraught with issues in our culture these days. The courage and desire to offer themselves to each other in order to explore and learn the Mystery of Love is a symbol for us all of the possibilities for each of us as a person and as a sharer in family and community. Relationships so often fail. But every time two people have the courage to marry, it raises our hope. This is the gift that Philip and Liz offer us all today.
Liz, Philip: I have read the vows you will make and their preamble many times. They resonate with the deepest principles that I have shaped my life around as a Christian priest, and I believe with other of the great time-tested principles of the World’s religions and philosophies. I am always open to Wisdom, from whatever source, though I will confess that I measure the truth of Wisdom by the great invitations of people like Jesus and the Buddha to Compassion.
You will make vows today, by your own will and choice. I believe this to be the working of the Mystery we often call “God”. Vows are important; their keeping reflects on our integrity. You will work every day of your Life together to sustain the hopes and goals your vows embrace. I hope that I and all here today will continue to support you both on this Journey together. And I would remind you that it is the Journey that is paramount, not the End; the End takes care of itself.
Today I offer you Four Toltec principles – which Don Miguel Ruiz calls “Agreements” - by which to accomplish your vows.
One: “Always be Impeccable with your word.” Your word is the power you have to create. It can also be used to destroy. Your word expresses what you dream, what you feel, what you really are. If you are impeccable in your word, you create beauty, love, heaven on earth. Strive always to use your word impeccably.
Two: “Never take anything personally.” 99.9% of what happens around you and what is said to you is not about you. It is about what lies behind others’ words and deeds. To take everything personally is deeply selfish; everything is not about you. And we are not responsible for everything. Taking everything personally poisons you. Live your own truths. Help each other to see honestly.
Three: “Never make assumptions.” Almost all assumptions are wrong. They cause us to judge people, usually wrongly. They cause us to mistreat each other. If in doubt – and that is most of the time – Ask, talk, be honest or seek honesty. Truth is always the best way to deeper love.
Four: “Always do your best.” Circumstances in Life change. Your best will be different at different times, depending on how you feel and many other factors. But if you both are committed to doing your best, you have a better chance of keeping the other three Agreements. They will all lead to a choice for Love.
And remember: we all fail. So when you do, acknowledge it and start again.
Love is not essentially feelings. Love is essentially an act of the will – the conscious decision to care and be compassionate to the one who will share Life. Spiritually, emotionally, psychologically healthy people give generously – and are never diminished by it.
Liz, Philip, may your journey together bring Wonder, Astonishment, Surprise, Peace. and Joy. I believe there is a Great Mystery of Being at the heart of Life. It is also our deepest Self. Together may you catch a glimpse, and help each other to be fully yourselves.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Easter V, Year C_RCL May 2, 2010
St. Benedict’s, Los Osos CA
The Rev. Brian H. O. A. McHugh +
Here is a wonderful story from the Bhagavata Purana, a Hindu text from about 200 CE:
A dispute once arose among the sages which of the three gods was greatest. They applied to the greatest of all sages to determine the point. He undertook to put all three gods to a severe test. He went first to Brahma, and omitted all obeisance. The god's anger blazed forth, but he was at length pacified. Next he went to the abode of Siva, and omitted to return the god's salutation. The irascible god was enraged, his eyes flashed fire, and he raised his Trident weapon to destroy the sage. But the god's wife, Pirvatt, interceded for him. Lastly, Bhrigu went to the heaven of Vishnu, whom he found asleep. To try his forbearance, he gave the god a good kick on his breast, which awoke him. Instead of showing anger, Vishnu asked Bhrigu's pardon for not having greeted him on the first arrival. Then he declared he was highly honored by the sage's blow. It has imprinted an indelible mark of good fortune on his breast. He trusted the sage's foot was not hurt, and began to rub it gently. "This," said Bhrigu, "is the mightiest god; he overpowers his enemies by the most potent of all weapons - gentleness and generosity."
This is why, in the great Christian Myth, Jesus stood silent before Pontius Pilate. Jesus is the One who “overpowers his enemies by the most potent of all weapons – gentleness and generosity”. Jesus chastised Peter for using his sword in Gethsemane, and healed the ear of the man Peter struck. It is why Jesus tried to make it clear over and over that His kingdom was not of the character of this World”. It is why Jesus rejected the Devil’s offer of all the power of the World’s kingdoms. It is why Jesus rejected the role of a military messiah. It is why Jesus is portrayed healing bodies, minds, and spirits. It is why He is portrayed as a raiser even from the dead – Lazarus and the son of the widow of Nain. It is why Jesus accepted the possibility of death in His determination to be faithful to the God of Love He served and loved. Ultimately it is why Jesus is raised from the dead: The Gospel is scandalously determined to make the point that Love triumphs over, is greater than, all things.
I am utterly opposed to making anyone, including St. Paul, the source or arbiter of all truth. But I do think that Paul got it right about the centrality of Love at the heart of the Gospel, at the heart of God, and at the heart of the Jesus he met “in the spirit” on the Damascus road:
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Jesus said to love our enemies – a commandment that Joseph Campbell thought was the hardest sentence in the Gospel. Jesus demanded of Peter, the deeply faulted man who would lead His followers, only one thing in that role, asking not once but three times, “Peter, do you love Me?” Love had to be the center of Peter’s discipleship – not his goodness or perfection or law-keeping. [The wonderful Verna Dozier once said that this three-fold question of Jesus surely showed His godlikeness; Jesus completely freed Peter from his three-time denial of Jesus. What could be more loving, gentle and generous!]
There was another very important way that Jesus demonstrated the love of His heavenly Father. He challenged the contempt and meanness and indifference of the religious leaders by almost ostentatiously loving His society’s unlovable – just as Gandhi was later to love the Indian dalits, the Outcasts. He loved lepers, and Samaritans, and prostitutes, and tax-collectors, and thieves, and a Roman centurion, and widows and orphans. Constantly He was expanding the boundaries of His own love; people saw it. Many saw themselves criticized by it, their lack of love exposed, their guilt and their anger exposed. Were Jesus alive on the Earth today, He would be in crack dens, and eating with undocumented immigrants, and sitting with refugees in squalid camps, and attending Gay marriages, and in countless places where the rejected and the despised are gathered. He would also be in the White House and in the Kremlin and Robert Mugabe’s palace, and the United Nations , and the World’s Pentagons, gently challenging them in their positions as he did the Pharisees and Herod, and speaking about the ways of the Kingdom. And, when threatened human powers killed Him again – and we would, for the World is little changed - we would again hear Him speak those ominous words, “Father, forgive them”.
I imagine Jesus’ voice somewhat tinged with understanding and perhaps some loving frustration as He gathers with his disciples for the last Passover meal in the Upper Room. Loving them all, including Judas, He says, “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." He had tried teaching them for a long time. But it is clear that they “didn’t get it”. Let us sit at your right hand and left they said. Shall we call down lighting to kill them? they said. How dare those peasants be healed on the Sabbath? they said. I think Jesus took stock, saw their human waywardness as He sees ours, and knew that He had to focus them on the heart of His message. I give you a new commandment: Love one another as I have loved you. Jesus would have understood that like all human beings His disciples and we would make a mess of things - making idols of Bible and Church, succumbing to the desire for earthly power and glory, relishing honour and praise.
My guess is that He took a risk. He focused us on the centrality of Love. He hoped that we would “get it” – that we would learn ways to stay focused on Love. Love was the one thing that others would see and recognize the God of Love present among them. Even though being a loving person brings such a sense of Peace and of Happiness, it is amazing how easily we are tempted away from it! You’d think we’d see that His Way blesses us and others more. What contrary, self-destructive people we are!
But maybe the words of Mencius, a Chinese Confucian philosopher and sage of the 4th century BCE, are true. Despite the evidence, I choose to believe he is right. He said:
All [persons] have a mind which cannot bear to see the sufferings of others. If [they] suddenly see a child about to fall into a well, they will experience a feeling of alarm and distress. Let them have their complete development, and they will suffice to love and protect all within the four seas.
I think only one spiritual practice is necessary: it is to mediate daily on the question What is Love? Jesus showed how He loved, showed by His life and teachings what Love, Compassion, truly, authentically is. At the core of our Life as Christians is this Question. We can expand our spiritual practice as we wish, but always our quest is to seek and know the meaning of Love, and our calling is to generate Love around us and within.
The Muslim mystic Ibn Arabi wrote this verse, entitled Whatever Way Love’s Camel Takes; here is his wisdom for us:
My heart has become capable of every form:
It is a pasture for gazelles,
And a monastery for Christian monks,
And a temple for idols,
And the pilgrim's Ka'ba,
And the tablets of the Torah,
And the Book of the Koran.
I follow the religion of Love:
Whatever way love's camel takes,
That is my religion, my faith.
The camel makes it through the desert against great odds. Love will get us successfully through Life’s often treacherous places. Law-keeping will not transform the human heart into the flame of Compassion. My religion is Ibn Arabi’s: Whatever way Love’s camel takes.
Here is a wonderful story from the Bhagavata Purana, a Hindu text from about 200 CE:
A dispute once arose among the sages which of the three gods was greatest. They applied to the greatest of all sages to determine the point. He undertook to put all three gods to a severe test. He went first to Brahma, and omitted all obeisance. The god's anger blazed forth, but he was at length pacified. Next he went to the abode of Siva, and omitted to return the god's salutation. The irascible god was enraged, his eyes flashed fire, and he raised his Trident weapon to destroy the sage. But the god's wife, Pirvatt, interceded for him. Lastly, Bhrigu went to the heaven of Vishnu, whom he found asleep. To try his forbearance, he gave the god a good kick on his breast, which awoke him. Instead of showing anger, Vishnu asked Bhrigu's pardon for not having greeted him on the first arrival. Then he declared he was highly honored by the sage's blow. It has imprinted an indelible mark of good fortune on his breast. He trusted the sage's foot was not hurt, and began to rub it gently. "This," said Bhrigu, "is the mightiest god; he overpowers his enemies by the most potent of all weapons - gentleness and generosity."
This is why, in the great Christian Myth, Jesus stood silent before Pontius Pilate. Jesus is the One who “overpowers his enemies by the most potent of all weapons – gentleness and generosity”. Jesus chastised Peter for using his sword in Gethsemane, and healed the ear of the man Peter struck. It is why Jesus tried to make it clear over and over that His kingdom was not of the character of this World”. It is why Jesus rejected the Devil’s offer of all the power of the World’s kingdoms. It is why Jesus rejected the role of a military messiah. It is why Jesus is portrayed healing bodies, minds, and spirits. It is why He is portrayed as a raiser even from the dead – Lazarus and the son of the widow of Nain. It is why Jesus accepted the possibility of death in His determination to be faithful to the God of Love He served and loved. Ultimately it is why Jesus is raised from the dead: The Gospel is scandalously determined to make the point that Love triumphs over, is greater than, all things.
I am utterly opposed to making anyone, including St. Paul, the source or arbiter of all truth. But I do think that Paul got it right about the centrality of Love at the heart of the Gospel, at the heart of God, and at the heart of the Jesus he met “in the spirit” on the Damascus road:
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Jesus said to love our enemies – a commandment that Joseph Campbell thought was the hardest sentence in the Gospel. Jesus demanded of Peter, the deeply faulted man who would lead His followers, only one thing in that role, asking not once but three times, “Peter, do you love Me?” Love had to be the center of Peter’s discipleship – not his goodness or perfection or law-keeping. [The wonderful Verna Dozier once said that this three-fold question of Jesus surely showed His godlikeness; Jesus completely freed Peter from his three-time denial of Jesus. What could be more loving, gentle and generous!]
There was another very important way that Jesus demonstrated the love of His heavenly Father. He challenged the contempt and meanness and indifference of the religious leaders by almost ostentatiously loving His society’s unlovable – just as Gandhi was later to love the Indian dalits, the Outcasts. He loved lepers, and Samaritans, and prostitutes, and tax-collectors, and thieves, and a Roman centurion, and widows and orphans. Constantly He was expanding the boundaries of His own love; people saw it. Many saw themselves criticized by it, their lack of love exposed, their guilt and their anger exposed. Were Jesus alive on the Earth today, He would be in crack dens, and eating with undocumented immigrants, and sitting with refugees in squalid camps, and attending Gay marriages, and in countless places where the rejected and the despised are gathered. He would also be in the White House and in the Kremlin and Robert Mugabe’s palace, and the United Nations , and the World’s Pentagons, gently challenging them in their positions as he did the Pharisees and Herod, and speaking about the ways of the Kingdom. And, when threatened human powers killed Him again – and we would, for the World is little changed - we would again hear Him speak those ominous words, “Father, forgive them”.
I imagine Jesus’ voice somewhat tinged with understanding and perhaps some loving frustration as He gathers with his disciples for the last Passover meal in the Upper Room. Loving them all, including Judas, He says, “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." He had tried teaching them for a long time. But it is clear that they “didn’t get it”. Let us sit at your right hand and left they said. Shall we call down lighting to kill them? they said. How dare those peasants be healed on the Sabbath? they said. I think Jesus took stock, saw their human waywardness as He sees ours, and knew that He had to focus them on the heart of His message. I give you a new commandment: Love one another as I have loved you. Jesus would have understood that like all human beings His disciples and we would make a mess of things - making idols of Bible and Church, succumbing to the desire for earthly power and glory, relishing honour and praise.
My guess is that He took a risk. He focused us on the centrality of Love. He hoped that we would “get it” – that we would learn ways to stay focused on Love. Love was the one thing that others would see and recognize the God of Love present among them. Even though being a loving person brings such a sense of Peace and of Happiness, it is amazing how easily we are tempted away from it! You’d think we’d see that His Way blesses us and others more. What contrary, self-destructive people we are!
But maybe the words of Mencius, a Chinese Confucian philosopher and sage of the 4th century BCE, are true. Despite the evidence, I choose to believe he is right. He said:
All [persons] have a mind which cannot bear to see the sufferings of others. If [they] suddenly see a child about to fall into a well, they will experience a feeling of alarm and distress. Let them have their complete development, and they will suffice to love and protect all within the four seas.
I think only one spiritual practice is necessary: it is to mediate daily on the question What is Love? Jesus showed how He loved, showed by His life and teachings what Love, Compassion, truly, authentically is. At the core of our Life as Christians is this Question. We can expand our spiritual practice as we wish, but always our quest is to seek and know the meaning of Love, and our calling is to generate Love around us and within.
The Muslim mystic Ibn Arabi wrote this verse, entitled Whatever Way Love’s Camel Takes; here is his wisdom for us:
My heart has become capable of every form:
It is a pasture for gazelles,
And a monastery for Christian monks,
And a temple for idols,
And the pilgrim's Ka'ba,
And the tablets of the Torah,
And the Book of the Koran.
I follow the religion of Love:
Whatever way love's camel takes,
That is my religion, my faith.
The camel makes it through the desert against great odds. Love will get us successfully through Life’s often treacherous places. Law-keeping will not transform the human heart into the flame of Compassion. My religion is Ibn Arabi’s: Whatever way Love’s camel takes.
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